I’ve had a bit of drama in my life lately but through this I’ve realized how much I’ve grown up because of how I’ve handled it. To be fair I posted a few things on Facebook and wrote a couple of blog posts out of anger but I don’t really regret it because the people it was about don’t follow me, anymore, so it wasn’t done to hurt them, just for me to vent. Still, not the most mature way to handle things.
However, on the good side I’ve learned that feeding into irrational anger and arguments gets you absolutely nowhere. The best thing you can do when someone starts pushing buttons is to hide that message away for at least 24 hours and then revisit it if you want to. After 24 hours I’ve realized that there is no winning in this fight, it’s just going to get nastier and nastier as it progresses. Also there doesn’t appear to be a possible solution other than to just admit that the whole thing is pointless, which I don’t think will happen.
So the best thing I can do for myself and the situation is just to ignore it. My anger is gone about it all and I’ve moved onto not caring anymore. It’s so easy to get sucked into drama but eventually you get to a point in your life where the drama just stops being interesting anymore. I’m not going to let someone else’s issues cause stress and frustration in my life. I will not let this kind of thing take up anymore time in my life. I’m done.
Some people feel that showing you care about someone is about sending birthday and holiday cards but to me, that’s just not something that matters to me. If I’m really close to someone and I’m moved to I’ll send a birthday card of some kind I might do that if I remember to but I prefer to send random cards just to tell someone I miss them and care about them.
I try to acknowledge birthdays and holidays but for me, the random moments mean so much more to me. Someone checking in on you just to say hi for no reason by text or in a message or someone saying “hey, let’s meet for coffee and catch up.” Don’t get me wrong, cards and well wishes are sweet but they are what everyone does because that’s what everyone is supposed to do; I care about people showing up and giving a shit when there is absolutely no reason to.
My husband and I don’t put a lot of effort into each others’ birthdays or anniversaries, we’re more about leaving love notes and finding something one day for the other person just because you know it would make them happy. The Hallmark holidays just don’t mean to me what they used to, the little moments that come out of nowhere mean so much more.
Making time for each other, that’s what is really important in my life. If you can’t make time for someone in your life why would you care about cards and holidays? If I forget your birthday it doesn’t mean I don’t care because I often forget people’s birthdays and I never care when people forget my birthday. In the grand scheme of things is a birthday really something to get bent out of shape about? Is it really worth getting into a fight about? I don’t know, it isn’t in my world but if some random Tuesday you want to send me a card, that would be lovely.