I don’t know if it’s that I’m a HSP or an introvert but the idea of joining in on the Black Friday insanity sounds like pure hell to me. In fact, something like that would be an actual nightmare I’d have. This coming from someone who will leave a store if it’s too crowded and go home. I hate going to Market Basket because it’s almost always crowded and customers tend to be really pushy and rude there. I can’t even comprehend people doing this by choice…for fun.
Not a lot of people do these but I like to, I think I’ll really enjoy them in the future. They are like little snippets of my life.
My life sitting in traffic.
My life of Aurora drinking milk her special way.
My life playing games with Miles.
My husband playing for me.
My whole life I’ve never thought much of it, I just thought I was really strange (well I am but that’s besides the point) but then within the last few years I realized there was a name for people like me. Someone who is very emotional, has an over-active imagination, craves connections with other people beyond the surface, worries needlessly, awkward socially, requires a LOT of space, gets overwhelmed easily, can see through people all too often to the point it’s hard to have relationships with people and very stuck in my head most of the time.
I’ve always cried at the drop of the hat my whole life and had trouble dealing with things that overwhelmed me but it wasn’t until I got older and I was at a party where I was having a nice time and suddenly I just felt exhausted and had to go into another room to shut down a bit. I just sat there alone in the room for a while not talking or anything, just trying to relax.
At the age of 35 now I know how much I can handle and how much is too much. I take a lot of time for myself now and don’t make too many plans for a short period of time. If I have a party to go to on a Saturday I’ll make sure that Sunday I have to myself. For me watching tv and reading is what truly calms me down and helps me deal with things better. Escaping for me is important, it’s a big part of being a pisces I think, having a world besides your own to go to when your own world is just too much.
Sometimes I honestly think this world is too much for me. This is one of the reasons I am not having children, because I think it will be too much for me. I think I could love a child with all my heart but I think I might go insane caring for one day in and day out.
So what I do is I try to make the best decisions for myself and let myself say no when I’m just not up for something. I take long walks when I’m overwhelmed and I don’t apologize for being who I am despite how few people get it. The only thing I still can’t help but wish for is for more people to understand me because it seems most people in my life just think I’m weird and don’t bother to really figure me out.
So I thought that I could get my self-hosted blog to show up on this reader but I don’t think I can so I guess I’ll just continue on this blog…I can’t win.